New Layout (and stuff)

I set up a new layout this morning. It's something I picked up from FinalSense and tweaked a little.

I changed the font; I just think the typewriter-esque look of the Courier family looks better on the lined paper background.

I changed some of the colors because I didn't like the way the originals looked. They didn't look bad, they just bothered my eyes. I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with some of the changes I made, especially the links. I'll look at it again tomorrow when my eyes are less willing to bleed from a night of fragmented sleep and other irritants.

I wish I could have changed the background color because I'm not so crazy about what was offered, but without remaking the graphics, it just wasn't possible. Well, it WAS possible, just hideously ugly. And since I'm not remaking an artist's graphics, I'm stuck with the color until I find a layout I like better. Or make one.

~*~

The books that I ordered last week showed up yesterday. They weren't supposed to be here until Wednesday. Go United States Postal Service! Because I don't want to break my (already faltering) stride on another project I have going on, I won't be touching the books until Wednesday night or some time on Thursday. Possibly Friday (I feel a massive headache that could easily become a migraine starting to form just at the base of my skull and behind both eyes). I've already slotted them into the books on the shelf above the computer, though, so each time I begin considering a nap or slowing down or delaying the completion of the current project, I can see the books. They are begging me to read them. I want to read them. I am going to read them. Just not today. Or tomorrow.

And speaking of that other project, I need to get back to it. I just stopped for a cup of tea and mild distraction. Break time's over.

Progress update (of a sort), and some musing.

I've almost finished reading one of the books that was recommended to me (Fear of Writing by Milli Thornton) and the other book that was recommended (How to Write a Damn Good Novel, II: Advanced Techniques For Dramatic Storytelling by James N. Frey) should be here by the middle of the week. Tracking scans show it making progress on the journey.

I also ordered two other books that looked helpful or, at the very least, entertaining. Plot & Structure: (Techniques And Exercises For Crafting A Plot That Grips Readers From Start To Finish) by James Scott Bell and Write Great Fiction: Characters, Emotion & Viewpoint : (Techniques and exercises for crafting dynamic characters and effective viewpoints) by Nancy Kress. Needless to say, I'll be very busy reading during the later part of next week and the week after that.

The last day or two has had my mind tumbling titles for the book I've been working on. I'm only searching for a working title because some editor/publisher somewhere will probably insist on changing it someday. Also, I'm only searching for a working title because I can't keep calling it "O's Big Adventure". I just can't. It sounds too much like porn and if when I call it "Ophelia's Big Adventure" I get images of Pee Wee Herman in my head. I cannot write with that in my head. (Besides, it looks really dorky on the progress meter.)

The suggestions that were made to me on certain parts of O's book have also been rolling around in my head these past few days. I'm going to give my brain somewhere between two and seven more days to tumble everything around and get everything straightened out (it's like tumbling raw gems and rocks; it takes a while to get to the pretty shiny stage) then I'm going to start making daily progress. (Not to mention that next week is the week before school starts and the calendar is starting to look pretty frenzied; I'm not sure I'll even be able to check my email on a few of the days... at least, and not make it to bed on time, too.)

I've also had the issue of "how much do I post on the internet?" rolling around in my head lately. Do I dish the details of the book (soon to be books) in progress? Do I post unedited excerpts? Roughly edited excerpts? Polished excerpts?

I worry about someone stealing what I've written and claiming it as their own. It's happened to me before and is, in fact, part of why I quit writing when I did. Someone was taking Ophelia short stories and scenes from larger stories that I had posted in the Ophelia journal, posting them in their own journal, submitting them to groups, and claiming them as their own. Then the thief pointed to me with the accusation of "THIEF!!". All while simultaneously telling me via comments and emails how badly I wrote.

Yes, I've seen the little copyright statements authors put up when they post raw scenes and excerpts to their blogs and websites, but has that ever really stopped anyone from stealing them? It didn't stop the person stealing O's stories from me.

I know that authors should have web pages where editors and/or publishers (not to mention readers) can get to know them, become familiar with their writing, or whatever else it is that they do (which is why I have this blog and eventually a multi page website). I've also read many authors' blogs and websites and seen a lot of raw scenes and quite a few polished excerpts from unpublished books and/or works in progress posted. I've also seen some pretty detailed explanations about the current book in progress, and even one daily and very detailed recap of what was written or rewritten. I don't need to buy that book should it ever be published; I watched it be written, step by beautiful step.

So, how much is too much? Is there such a thing as too little in this situation? I'm happy to share what I've written if it entertains someone, but I'm finding myself being extremely cautious in the matter.

Writing well, expectations, and why I write.

The spousal-unit wants me to become the next J. K. Rowling or Stephen King, that is to say, write lots of books and make tons of money.

Honestly, I don't care too much about the making lots of money part and though I do wish to be published, I won't be devastated if it never happens.

What do I want? I want to write well.

You can have the worst story ever in the history of story-telling but if you write it well, it will still be better than a fantastic story written badly.

~*~

In one of the on-line writing groups I'm a member of, the topics of the term "artist" being a creative blocker and how expectations can be damaging were addressed. Both topics struck nerves with me.

It's been a long time since I've seriously written. The truth is that I'm just now clawing my way out of a six year writing freeze brought on by various expectations and their results. In fact, I've not even been able to maintain a blog or a hand-written journal over the past six years thanks to a careless off-hand comment of "You're so creative. Why is your blog so boring?" from someone with access to my personal blog. That innocent comment still haunts me every time I start to type or pick up a pen. Even with this, my writing blog, I have difficulties with entries. I still keep trying with both blogs, though, because I've realized in the last year that writing is part of me.

The last six years have been, well, an overall mess. I don't blame the lack of writing, but I can see now that without the writing outlet it was a much harsher strain on me emotionally. The last year has been a slow climb up during which I've reevaluated a great many things in my life. I never had that many expectations in life, but the few I had were fairly big. Even so, expectations have been something I've been trying to rid myself of, both in myself and in others.

Part of the whole dropping expectations thing is getting past what others have expected of me in the past and currently expect of me as a writer, not to mention the train wreck those expectations have caused and continue to cause inside my head. It's hard to write when I'm worried about disappointing someone by writing badly or not telling the story they think I should be telling. More than once I've had well-meaning people tell me I'm telling the story wrong or that the events I've written are all wrong. I'm learning to say the words "I'm writing for me, and no one else. If someone likes what I write, I'm glad to have brought them some pleasure, otherwise they can go write their own story." and truly mean them with all my heart.

And it's working. I'm writing again. Not on a daily basis, but I'm getting there.

As for the label "artist"... I hate being labeled in any way and I'll leave it at that, except to say that I do find myself creatively blocked by the majority of labels. I'm learning not to let that stop me, though.

~*~

The question "Why do you write?" always seems to come up from somewhere. I've never been able to answer that question... until now.

I write because I love to write. Writing is the natural progression in the evolution of my life. And truthfully, there's just more room outside my skull than inside. Besides, my mother taught me to share. I shouldn't be the only person in the world entertained by the characters living inside my head. ;)

July 11

11
I could write short stories galore on what the characters do for fun inside my head.

Assuming I could get people to leave me alone so I could write in peace.

I’m one of those that needs peace or, at least, no distractions.

What goes on inside my head is as impressive and scary as the twenty-some-odd characters living there! (And I wonder why I get headaches so often. Sheesh.)

We have assassins. We have bodyguards. We have a billionaire. We have… strange things happening inside my head.

I wonder, not for the first time, if I should seek therapy.

July 10

10
I swear I can hear her greeting new characters in my head each night.

“Now just you never mind about that there person bangin’ their head against that there keyboard. You just run along and do whatever you like.”

And they do. Almost every single character runs off all willy-nilly. No aim. No purpose. No goal. No story. Just off having a good old time on their own until I interrupt them to work for me.

The roll call for the characters I have in my head is both impressive and scary. Ophelia. Max. Gabriel. Michael. Holly. Sarra. Sam. Stalker.

July 9

9
I know it’s possible to write a book without a plot outline, but at the very least I should have a sketchy guide of what I to happen in the story, shouldn’t I?

Not that the characters ever listen to me. They run about all willy-nilly doing whatever they want, whenever they want.

Really.

I swear there’s some hefty, aging southern black woman living inside my head that greets all the characters as they arrive. “Now just you never mind about that there person banging their head against that there keyboard. You just run along and do whatever you like.”

July 8

8
It’s confession time.

I haven't got the first clue how to plot out a book. I never learned how.

I know there MUST be conflict, and a hero/heroine, and a bad guy type, but I don't know how to set up that guide rope that keeps me from tumbling off the edge of the cliff and wandering off into nowheresville. I don't know how to outline the plot. And so I sit, with characters standing by inside my head. Oh, I can write excerpts but I don't know how to string them together because I don't have a plot outline.