Adventures in Hell; Day Eight (morning edition)

I have a few moments of relative quiet (the dishwasher is running and the felines locked in my bedroom are crying to get out) so here goes...

Our bathroom was gutted on Thursday, August 30 by 930am. It's still not completely reassembled... and now they've started in on my kitchen. And while I realize the guy really didn't want to go into the kitchen just yet and he had no choice in the matter because of a leaking pipe under the sink that was draining into the bathroom, the plans (by management) to COMPLETELY redo my kitchen (except the appliances, because who wants new appliances when they have all new cabinets, counters, and walls?) could be made a priority now that the gutting has started rather than leaving me with a partially gutted kitchen to cook in until whenever they feel like getting to the project.

The guy that's been working on and off in the bathroom left the apartment just a few minutes shy of 8pm last night. He still wasn't done.

The floor guys were back again today, only this time they were here at 7am. (We were told they'd be here yesterday between 9 and 10am; they showed up at 8:02am.) They were asked to come back in an hour because 2/3 of the family were not anywhere close to being dressed for the day. (The child was still in bed.)

Three and a half hours later and they're still not back.

My last nerve is straining hard to stay together but it's being pushed beyond the breaking point. I don't know how much more I can take.

I've been trying to get the books I listed a few entries back read and been trying to get some sort of an outline for Ophelia's book pieced together, but it's so very hard to concentrate when there are loud, rude, dirty, smelly strangers romping around my apartment, tromping all over my life with their mud, paint, and crap smeared boots... and not accomplishing anything but pushing me closer to the edge.

In the last two weeks I've lost touch with so many of the characters that were in my head. It feels like being abandoned by your best friends while you're out. You look away for a minute and when you look back, they're all gone, leaving you stranded in a strange place with no means of escape.

I can't really say that I blame the characters for scattering, though. If I had the option, I'd vanish too. Unfortunately, I don't have that option. Without them, however, there are no ideas to work on in the all too infrequent quiet moments such as this one.

I'm not sure which is worse: not being able to write because of intrusions and interruptions or not being able to write because my brain has shut down and my characters have abandoned me.

I can only pray that this ordeal ends soon so I can get back to my version of "normal".

....

Hey look! Now they're taking out the toilet.

*headdesk*

Lord, give me strength...

Or maybe not...

Three days without a shower or a bathroom sink is starting to grate on my very last nerve. While no longer running in crisis mode, this family is certainly visiting a whole new level of Hell. I don't remember Dante writing about this one, though. Leave it to me to map out new levels.

Still, I'm adjusting (allbeit slowly) to the chaos of this new level of Hell, and may even be able to get back to writing in coming days. With a little luck. And a blood sacrifice.

Downshift, breathe.

Downshifting out of crisis mode now. It'll take a few days for me to decompress completely and remember how to breathe. We're going to call the next few days a "vacation from thinking" and pick life back up on the first of September. Unless I get bored with the whole not thinking thing before then, of course.

Still...

Still running in crisis mode.

Still having chest pains.

Still not sleeping well.

Still having terrible nightmares.

Still not writing.

But I'm still alive, and that's something.

By the grace of God, this insanity will end sooner rather than later and "normal" life can resume.

New Layout (and stuff)

I set up a new layout this morning. It's something I picked up from FinalSense and tweaked a little.

I changed the font; I just think the typewriter-esque look of the Courier family looks better on the lined paper background.

I changed some of the colors because I didn't like the way the originals looked. They didn't look bad, they just bothered my eyes. I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with some of the changes I made, especially the links. I'll look at it again tomorrow when my eyes are less willing to bleed from a night of fragmented sleep and other irritants.

I wish I could have changed the background color because I'm not so crazy about what was offered, but without remaking the graphics, it just wasn't possible. Well, it WAS possible, just hideously ugly. And since I'm not remaking an artist's graphics, I'm stuck with the color until I find a layout I like better. Or make one.

~*~

The books that I ordered last week showed up yesterday. They weren't supposed to be here until Wednesday. Go United States Postal Service! Because I don't want to break my (already faltering) stride on another project I have going on, I won't be touching the books until Wednesday night or some time on Thursday. Possibly Friday (I feel a massive headache that could easily become a migraine starting to form just at the base of my skull and behind both eyes). I've already slotted them into the books on the shelf above the computer, though, so each time I begin considering a nap or slowing down or delaying the completion of the current project, I can see the books. They are begging me to read them. I want to read them. I am going to read them. Just not today. Or tomorrow.

And speaking of that other project, I need to get back to it. I just stopped for a cup of tea and mild distraction. Break time's over.

Progress update (of a sort), and some musing.

I've almost finished reading one of the books that was recommended to me (Fear of Writing by Milli Thornton) and the other book that was recommended (How to Write a Damn Good Novel, II: Advanced Techniques For Dramatic Storytelling by James N. Frey) should be here by the middle of the week. Tracking scans show it making progress on the journey.

I also ordered two other books that looked helpful or, at the very least, entertaining. Plot & Structure: (Techniques And Exercises For Crafting A Plot That Grips Readers From Start To Finish) by James Scott Bell and Write Great Fiction: Characters, Emotion & Viewpoint : (Techniques and exercises for crafting dynamic characters and effective viewpoints) by Nancy Kress. Needless to say, I'll be very busy reading during the later part of next week and the week after that.

The last day or two has had my mind tumbling titles for the book I've been working on. I'm only searching for a working title because some editor/publisher somewhere will probably insist on changing it someday. Also, I'm only searching for a working title because I can't keep calling it "O's Big Adventure". I just can't. It sounds too much like porn and if when I call it "Ophelia's Big Adventure" I get images of Pee Wee Herman in my head. I cannot write with that in my head. (Besides, it looks really dorky on the progress meter.)

The suggestions that were made to me on certain parts of O's book have also been rolling around in my head these past few days. I'm going to give my brain somewhere between two and seven more days to tumble everything around and get everything straightened out (it's like tumbling raw gems and rocks; it takes a while to get to the pretty shiny stage) then I'm going to start making daily progress. (Not to mention that next week is the week before school starts and the calendar is starting to look pretty frenzied; I'm not sure I'll even be able to check my email on a few of the days... at least, and not make it to bed on time, too.)

I've also had the issue of "how much do I post on the internet?" rolling around in my head lately. Do I dish the details of the book (soon to be books) in progress? Do I post unedited excerpts? Roughly edited excerpts? Polished excerpts?

I worry about someone stealing what I've written and claiming it as their own. It's happened to me before and is, in fact, part of why I quit writing when I did. Someone was taking Ophelia short stories and scenes from larger stories that I had posted in the Ophelia journal, posting them in their own journal, submitting them to groups, and claiming them as their own. Then the thief pointed to me with the accusation of "THIEF!!". All while simultaneously telling me via comments and emails how badly I wrote.

Yes, I've seen the little copyright statements authors put up when they post raw scenes and excerpts to their blogs and websites, but has that ever really stopped anyone from stealing them? It didn't stop the person stealing O's stories from me.

I know that authors should have web pages where editors and/or publishers (not to mention readers) can get to know them, become familiar with their writing, or whatever else it is that they do (which is why I have this blog and eventually a multi page website). I've also read many authors' blogs and websites and seen a lot of raw scenes and quite a few polished excerpts from unpublished books and/or works in progress posted. I've also seen some pretty detailed explanations about the current book in progress, and even one daily and very detailed recap of what was written or rewritten. I don't need to buy that book should it ever be published; I watched it be written, step by beautiful step.

So, how much is too much? Is there such a thing as too little in this situation? I'm happy to share what I've written if it entertains someone, but I'm finding myself being extremely cautious in the matter.